Ani Nigerians don’t hear word sha. And their jazz? O strong gaaan. I heard gist yesterday ehn..I traveled by bus to Enugu yesterday and could write nothing. Even missed out on a chance to say happy birthday to Eva and famz to eternity. Oh well, next year still dey sha.
Anyways, I’m in Enugu now and I’m gonna groove tonight! Not because I’m any kind of grooving lady (quite the opposite really), but because today is Ekene’s birthday! Hurrah! ┐(‘⌣’┐) (┌’⌣’)┌ ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐ ┌(˘.˘)ʃ Happy birthday to my fellow NAS! You know that student that makes you feel better about your laziness and tardiness ‘cos he/she is even worse? That’s my Ekene. The testimony is that we’ve both graduated, in spite of our lackadaisical attitude.
Happy birthday also to ‘SeunAkoms! God bless you plenty plenty. You August-born kids are too much fa. Birthday shoutouts everyday. Na wa o!
Anyways, the gist. Ah. I was so tired when I got to my room (mental note: refuse the next time dad says no flying, especially when I’m just recovering from malaria (˘̯˘ ) ), all I wanted to do was fall on my bed, but it was not to be. One drunk retard drove off the road and into the transformer, so no electricity for us. I was so annoyed, I almost wished he was electrocuted silly. May the Lord forgive me. I was so not in the mood to start groping in the near darkness to find clean sheets, so I went to my neighbor’s room to borrow a lamp. Instead, I got to hear interesting gist about how he was jazzed!
My neighbor, Shadow, also travelledd yesterday, from Agbor in Delta state to Enugu. Now, for some reason, there’s no straight bus, so one has to get a bus to Onitcha, and then another from there to Enugu. My nigga got to Onitcha without hitch around 12pm. Mehn, na for Onitcha wahala start o. That place is worse than Lagos, I swear. I don’t know why people think Lagos is more dangerous. No set of people are more cunning than Onitcha people. Anyways, Shadow was supposed to go to a registered transport company to take his bus o, but ‘cos of the extra money he’d have spent taking okada, he decided to take one of the buses that was loading for Enugu by the roadside. Folly. My guy spent about 3 hours waiting for the bus to fill up. I asked him why he didn’t just get down when it was taking so long. He just made some noises and couldn’t really explain. He said the bus was actually more than half full, but the passengers weren’t complete. Hmmmm….sha sha, the bus finally filled o, then 2 guys came to get on too. You know how you’ll wait for bus to fill, and then when it’s full a barrage of passengers will come wanting to get in. You’ll be wondering where they were all the time you were waiting. Pffft.
Now, this is the really interesting part. When the 2 guys came, a guy already in the bus (let’s name him Chuka) told the guys that the bus was filled up, and that they could look around for another bus. That’s all. See drama that it caused. The touts in the area dragged Chuka down and started fighting him, asking him why he had to send the 2 potential passengers away. This fight went on for an hour more, and you know what, the passengers still waited in the bus! Juju of life o! Shadow got down to ask what was going on, they told him to go back, and he just obeyed. No arguments! Hian! The touts insisted that Chuka would pay for those passengers that went away. He argued for a while. Then they said he should go away, find another vehicle. Omo,my guy no go again o. He paid instead. A total of 1,500 naira for a 500 naira journey. The journey sha finally started. And the 2 guys he was paying for were probably already on their way in another bus. O ga ju. All the time they were waiting, the passengers were planning on how they would beat up the driver on the way, collect their money, and get on another bus, and go on. If I hear. They were like lambs in the bus throughout.
One interesting thing. The bus was actually going to Abakaliki, Ebonyi State. It was supposed to just pass through Enugu. So, people going to Abakaliki formed the majority in the bus, and of course, they paid more. Guess what. The driver dropped EVERYBODY in Enugu. Not even at the park. By the roadside, a walking distance from the park. They all got down, no complaints, and went to look for another bus to Abakaliki. Jesu! The jazz was strong ehn! Funny thing is, until I told Shadow that he’d been madly jazzed, he didn’t even realise it. It was just gist of his journey that he was narrating. Na wa o
The one thing these tricksters don’t realize, is that sometimes curses are not necessary. I used to have a surrogate sister, and her name was Oriyomi, which means, My Head Save(d) Me. These people, they know nothing. That extra money they tricked out of those people, do they think they’ll ever use it for anything good? Really? Their ‘Eda’ will surely fight for them. Same as mine will work for me. Yesterday too, I got on keke to get to my room, and was supposed to pay 50naira. I had only 100 naira as the smallest denomination on me, so I paid the keke guy with that. After complaining that I didn’t have 50naira note to give him, he gave me 30 naira change and sped away. Will he ever prosper? I doubt it. I didn’t curse him. It’s just 20 naira na. But I felt sad for him. Sad that 20 naira would so mangle his life. It’s the same way I feel sad for conductors that will not give me my 10 naira change. I cannot start fighting na. I like my face. But the truth is that the money will always fight against their success. Little wonder most of them remain wretched all their lives. Hmmmm… God have mercy on Nigerians.
My grammar usage deteriorated a lot in this story. Mehn, it’s being in Enugu that does it to me o. I cease to speak like an educated person and revert to pidgin by default. I wonder if that’s another jazz
Let me enter town and see what’s going on in this place biko. Shey una sha enjoy the gist? I hope y’all have a great day. :*